So my mom and I made a quilt together. It was a lot of work, and she did most of it, but I'm really glad we did it. It's bright blue and bright green with some brown and beige and stuff. I don't really know how to describe it. We used the Double Irish Chain pattern, for any of you out there who know what that means or are willing to look it up.
So I'm helping out with the Vacation Bible School at my church again this year, as I have for the past...seven years, now (sheesh, I'm old). I've been looking into all the faces of these little kids at my church, and I realize how much I love children. I'm not always very good at interacting with them. I'm especially clueless when it comes to the really little ones. But I love kids!
I've also been teaching piano lessons. I have about 17 students registered, but not all of them have begun lessons yet. It's been an incredible experience so far. I love all of my students, and I'm growing so much as a pianist and as a teacher through this all. I'm so glad I did this. I still don't know if it's something I'll want to do forever, but it's at least one way I've found that I would enjoy using something I'm studying at Auburn.
I spoke with a woman who goes to my church whose family is currently in the process of an international adoption. The little boy's name is Isaiah, and he's currently in Africa. He's about nine months old. She showed me pictures, and spoke of how anxious she is to be able to see him, be with him. "Right now I can't even hold him when he cries." It just amazed me how much love she had for a little boy she'd never met. She has four other children, and speaking with them, they seemed equally emotionally involved in this process. They pointed out which pictures where the most recent and which were older.
I want to adopt. One day, when I'm older. If I'm an old maid all my life and never get married, I still want to adopt. If I have 6 kids of my own, I still want to adopt. Each little face is immeasurably valuable and so full of potential. I want to be that person for somebody: that person who sees and expresses their value to them.
It also reinforces my belief that abortion is the wrong option for women to take. There are families with open arms waiting to welcome these kids. Granted, there are less of these families than there are children in need of adoption. But abortion never even gives them a chance to be loved!
More on this later. It's not that I want to condemn anyone, or tell people how to live their lives. I just really truly believe that each little embryo has a right to life. We can talk about pro-choice all we want, but the truth is, there are millions of unborn babies who never had a choice.
It's storming right now. Thundering something crazy. When my window rattles, it squeaks, too. I love the sound of rain. It lulls me to sleep...
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Rant: On Hitler
Okay, so, here's something that's been nagging at me today. Hitler. We all know the story: bad guy, responsible for the cruel deaths of countless people, etc. He was sick and twisted and we all know that. I'm not disputing that at all.
Still...
He was not subhuman. He was not an animal. He was not worthless.
He was a created man, loved by God, valued by God. He was not past forgiveness. If he would have turned to Christ and asked for forgiveness, he would have had it in a heartbeat. So how can we hate him? How can we harbor bitterness in our hearts towards any human being, no matter their past or their sins? Do you understand that the Bible says hatred is equivalent to murder? (1 John 3:15) So if we hate Hitler, or Stalin or Lenin or any other human being who ever did anyone wrong, we're hypocrites. We are murderers too.
We tend to think that Hitler's wrongs are somehow much more terrible than our own. And yeah, it would seem like that. But I'm not so sure. Sin is sin is sin, and it all bears the same consequence eternally. Maybe Hitler was in a position where his wrongdoings had a larger impact globally, but we're not better than him just because we've hurt less people than he did. We've all hurt somebody. Maybe not intentionally, maybe not physically, maybe not fatally. But we've all been in the wrong. We just happen to be wrong on a smaller scale. We're all capable of things we don't want to admit to. Do you know how manipulative you can be? Do you know how hurtful you can be? We're just as vulnerable to the lies of the devil as Hitler was.
I'm not saying what Hitler did was in any way justifiable. I'm not saying I condone it. But it also is not our job to judge, our duty to condemn. That's God's responsibility, and we should leave it to Him.
1 John 4:20-21 also says "If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has see, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: whoever loves God must also love his brother."
And so maybe you're thinking, but doesn't the Bible say hate evil? Yeah, evil deeds. Hate the sin, not the sinner. I don't believe that people can really be pure evil. I think the Devil can and is, and possibly demon-possessed people could act purely evil. But we're all created in God's image, we all have souls, and they are all of equal value.
And so maybe you're thinking, so what? Hitler's dead. He doesn't care.
And so maybe you're thinking, everybody hates Hitler. What's the big deal?
This isn't just about Hitler. He's just an example. I'm addressing hatred overall. Christ-followers are called to love, not hate. That applies to Hitler, to terrorists, to our political leader, and to the neighbor who always lets their dog poo in your yard. They are all created and loved by God. We are called on to love them too.
Still...
He was not subhuman. He was not an animal. He was not worthless.
He was a created man, loved by God, valued by God. He was not past forgiveness. If he would have turned to Christ and asked for forgiveness, he would have had it in a heartbeat. So how can we hate him? How can we harbor bitterness in our hearts towards any human being, no matter their past or their sins? Do you understand that the Bible says hatred is equivalent to murder? (1 John 3:15) So if we hate Hitler, or Stalin or Lenin or any other human being who ever did anyone wrong, we're hypocrites. We are murderers too.
We tend to think that Hitler's wrongs are somehow much more terrible than our own. And yeah, it would seem like that. But I'm not so sure. Sin is sin is sin, and it all bears the same consequence eternally. Maybe Hitler was in a position where his wrongdoings had a larger impact globally, but we're not better than him just because we've hurt less people than he did. We've all hurt somebody. Maybe not intentionally, maybe not physically, maybe not fatally. But we've all been in the wrong. We just happen to be wrong on a smaller scale. We're all capable of things we don't want to admit to. Do you know how manipulative you can be? Do you know how hurtful you can be? We're just as vulnerable to the lies of the devil as Hitler was.
I'm not saying what Hitler did was in any way justifiable. I'm not saying I condone it. But it also is not our job to judge, our duty to condemn. That's God's responsibility, and we should leave it to Him.
1 John 4:20-21 also says "If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has see, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: whoever loves God must also love his brother."
And so maybe you're thinking, but doesn't the Bible say hate evil? Yeah, evil deeds. Hate the sin, not the sinner. I don't believe that people can really be pure evil. I think the Devil can and is, and possibly demon-possessed people could act purely evil. But we're all created in God's image, we all have souls, and they are all of equal value.
And so maybe you're thinking, so what? Hitler's dead. He doesn't care.
And so maybe you're thinking, everybody hates Hitler. What's the big deal?
This isn't just about Hitler. He's just an example. I'm addressing hatred overall. Christ-followers are called to love, not hate. That applies to Hitler, to terrorists, to our political leader, and to the neighbor who always lets their dog poo in your yard. They are all created and loved by God. We are called on to love them too.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Guess where I am?
I'm in the basement of my dorm, where it is kinda stuffy and which I've never seen before. However, it is much safer down here because there are no windows and we're below ground.
We're hiding from tornadoes.
There's no rain or anything, just some wind. I'm hoping it's an over-precaution. Growing up in Florida, I've experienced lots of hurricanes and all that jazz. Every now and then, you'd hear about a tornado or water spout. We always evacuated during hurricanes, though, so I don't have a lot of near-death stories (thank goodness).
However, one Christmas Eve I was in my room with my puppy already in her crate, ready for bed, when all of the sudden the wind changed tone. I don't know how to describe the sound. It sounded like the roof was about to be ripped off.
My mom burst in and dragged me to the living room. I was yelling about the dog, because she'd been left behind helpless in her crate. She was yelling about how we had to get to my sister's bathroom, which doesn't have windows. My whole family was in the living room, chaotically trying to assess that we were all there and trying to find the bathroom. Of course, then the power went out. Now we were all yelling in the dark.
And by that time, it was over.
It was terrifying, and it was all over so fast. Hardly any time at all to react, especially if your initial reaction is to panic.
So, that's why I'm in the basement. Just in case.
Also, classes are over now. My first exam is on Monday. I can't believe I've almost made it through one year of college...
We're hiding from tornadoes.
There's no rain or anything, just some wind. I'm hoping it's an over-precaution. Growing up in Florida, I've experienced lots of hurricanes and all that jazz. Every now and then, you'd hear about a tornado or water spout. We always evacuated during hurricanes, though, so I don't have a lot of near-death stories (thank goodness).
However, one Christmas Eve I was in my room with my puppy already in her crate, ready for bed, when all of the sudden the wind changed tone. I don't know how to describe the sound. It sounded like the roof was about to be ripped off.
My mom burst in and dragged me to the living room. I was yelling about the dog, because she'd been left behind helpless in her crate. She was yelling about how we had to get to my sister's bathroom, which doesn't have windows. My whole family was in the living room, chaotically trying to assess that we were all there and trying to find the bathroom. Of course, then the power went out. Now we were all yelling in the dark.
And by that time, it was over.
It was terrifying, and it was all over so fast. Hardly any time at all to react, especially if your initial reaction is to panic.
So, that's why I'm in the basement. Just in case.
Also, classes are over now. My first exam is on Monday. I can't believe I've almost made it through one year of college...
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Op. 10, No. 1
Ballade in D Minor, "Edward". Johannes Brahms (1833-1897)
"Brahms was a romantic composer. The piece I'm going to share with you today is the first of four ballades composed earlier in his career, which was characterized by a very thick texture. This piece is unique in that it was based on an extramusical program, an anonymous Scottish ballad recounting a conversation between a man named Edward and his mother. The first notes you will hear pose the mother's question to her son: why is your sword covered in blood? As the dialogue unfolds, you will hear two very distinct voices: the mother asking questions and Edward making excuses. Listen carefully for the moment when Edward finally decides to confess that he has just slain his father."
They...laughed.
It's a very strange feeling to stand on a stage when the audience is laughing and you don't understand why. It feels very much like being made fun of. Now, I guess I can see why they would laugh. I tried very hard to be somber and serious, but maybe I was too over-dramatic. Maybe I was too nonchalant when I described the conversation. Maybe I surprised them too much with the last sentence. I don't know...but they laughed, and I didn't see what was funny.
It's a terrible feeling to stand in front of a crowd that is booing. About a year ago, I was graduating from high school and my church was holding a ceremony to honor all of their grads. I wanted them to cheer. I wanted them to be proud. At first, I didn't understand the noises I was hearing. I was so confused, and when I realized, I was so hurt. They were booing because I was going to Auburn, a football rival.
How silly.
It's a silly reason to boo, but I also know it's a very silly reason for me to be so upset. Just a joke, all in good fun. Maybe if I'd understood, I wouldn't have felt so shaken.
It should be noted, though, I've gone the past three days without ANY caffeine. :) I wonder if that's affecting my range of emotions...hmm...
"Brahms was a romantic composer. The piece I'm going to share with you today is the first of four ballades composed earlier in his career, which was characterized by a very thick texture. This piece is unique in that it was based on an extramusical program, an anonymous Scottish ballad recounting a conversation between a man named Edward and his mother. The first notes you will hear pose the mother's question to her son: why is your sword covered in blood? As the dialogue unfolds, you will hear two very distinct voices: the mother asking questions and Edward making excuses. Listen carefully for the moment when Edward finally decides to confess that he has just slain his father."
They...laughed.
It's a very strange feeling to stand on a stage when the audience is laughing and you don't understand why. It feels very much like being made fun of. Now, I guess I can see why they would laugh. I tried very hard to be somber and serious, but maybe I was too over-dramatic. Maybe I was too nonchalant when I described the conversation. Maybe I surprised them too much with the last sentence. I don't know...but they laughed, and I didn't see what was funny.
It's a terrible feeling to stand in front of a crowd that is booing. About a year ago, I was graduating from high school and my church was holding a ceremony to honor all of their grads. I wanted them to cheer. I wanted them to be proud. At first, I didn't understand the noises I was hearing. I was so confused, and when I realized, I was so hurt. They were booing because I was going to Auburn, a football rival.
How silly.
It's a silly reason to boo, but I also know it's a very silly reason for me to be so upset. Just a joke, all in good fun. Maybe if I'd understood, I wouldn't have felt so shaken.
It should be noted, though, I've gone the past three days without ANY caffeine. :) I wonder if that's affecting my range of emotions...hmm...
Monday, March 28, 2011
Silence
Sorry for the long lack of posts. I just got caught up in lots of things, everything that is college. There was so much that I wanted to tell you, to share with you. I saw snow fall for the first time (it only lasted about five minutes, maybe less) and my family drove up to visit me. I played in a master class, and had one rough week feeling like a fraud. I've had successes and failures, wrote papers, took tests, and I spent a restful spring break at home with my family.
One thing about college that is so very different from high school is that experiences aren't shared the same way anymore. Back then, you spent the vast majority of your days with the same small group of people. But now, high school friends are in new places that are completely foreign to you, and your family is celebrating birthdays that you used to celebrate with them. Even friends that I've made here only have so much in common with me.
It's difficult to share everything.
So, what do you decide to share?
Well, here's one thing I thought I'd share with you: my spider friend died. He came down from the ceiling. On the microwave, he looked a lot less friendly.
One thing about college that is so very different from high school is that experiences aren't shared the same way anymore. Back then, you spent the vast majority of your days with the same small group of people. But now, high school friends are in new places that are completely foreign to you, and your family is celebrating birthdays that you used to celebrate with them. Even friends that I've made here only have so much in common with me.
It's difficult to share everything.
So, what do you decide to share?
Well, here's one thing I thought I'd share with you: my spider friend died. He came down from the ceiling. On the microwave, he looked a lot less friendly.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Suspense
My spider friend is on the ceiling again. Apparently, he hasn't starved yet. Only, he is positioned right above my bed which makes me very uncomfortable. So, instead of trying to sleep, I decided to blog.
So, funny story. This week, before my piano lesson, the professor had to step out for a moment. At which point, I remembered I had forgotten something I deemed vitally important in another part of the building, so I burst out of his office in search of this essential object. I wasn't gone long, and as I rounded the corner on my way back, I found my teacher standing outside his office with a confused expression on his face. He had been knocking on the door, which was closed and, I soon realized, locked.
I hadn't meant to shut the door behind me, but apparently I had. And my teacher had been wondering why I wasn't opening the door for him. I felt terribly guilty, but my professor wasn't too upset about it, so then I just felt a little guilty. And after the fact, amused.
Anyway, he eventually tracked down someone else who had a master key and could let him in. My lesson was only delayed by fifteen minutes or so. I decided I would wait inside the office while he returned the borrowed set of keys.
Well, I've finished writing everything I wished to tell you tonight, but my stubborn spider friend hasn't budged an inch. I think I'll sleep with the covers over my head tonight.
So, funny story. This week, before my piano lesson, the professor had to step out for a moment. At which point, I remembered I had forgotten something I deemed vitally important in another part of the building, so I burst out of his office in search of this essential object. I wasn't gone long, and as I rounded the corner on my way back, I found my teacher standing outside his office with a confused expression on his face. He had been knocking on the door, which was closed and, I soon realized, locked.
I hadn't meant to shut the door behind me, but apparently I had. And my teacher had been wondering why I wasn't opening the door for him. I felt terribly guilty, but my professor wasn't too upset about it, so then I just felt a little guilty. And after the fact, amused.
Anyway, he eventually tracked down someone else who had a master key and could let him in. My lesson was only delayed by fifteen minutes or so. I decided I would wait inside the office while he returned the borrowed set of keys.
Well, I've finished writing everything I wished to tell you tonight, but my stubborn spider friend hasn't budged an inch. I think I'll sleep with the covers over my head tonight.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
The Overflow of the Heart
Right off the bat, we get a three day weekend. I'm going to be spoiled. What will I do when I actually have to work again?
So my first few days of school haven't been too bad. Granted, most of the real work hasn't started yet. So given the long weekend and the lack of assignments, I had some extra free time today! I went to the Student Act with some other piano majors and tried out the elliptical machines there!
Now, this was a grand adventure for multiple reasons. First of all, I have never been to the Student Act so I was exploring a little bit. Secondly, I have never used an elliptical machine before. It took me a while to warm up to it. And finally, I hardly ever volunteer to sweat. I hate sweating. You can just imagine how much I enjoyed this excursion.
In retrospect, I feel very accomplished and I'm glad I went.
Also, there is a spider on the ceiling of my dorm room. It's the first spider I've seen here, and I want to kill it because I don't really like spiders. But, the thought occurs to me that it might be here because it has things to feed on. If that's the case, I would like it to continue. If there are bugs in my room, then I want the spider to eat them. If there aren't bugs, then the spider will leave or starve.
Besides, I can't reach it.
So my first few days of school haven't been too bad. Granted, most of the real work hasn't started yet. So given the long weekend and the lack of assignments, I had some extra free time today! I went to the Student Act with some other piano majors and tried out the elliptical machines there!
Now, this was a grand adventure for multiple reasons. First of all, I have never been to the Student Act so I was exploring a little bit. Secondly, I have never used an elliptical machine before. It took me a while to warm up to it. And finally, I hardly ever volunteer to sweat. I hate sweating. You can just imagine how much I enjoyed this excursion.
In retrospect, I feel very accomplished and I'm glad I went.
Also, there is a spider on the ceiling of my dorm room. It's the first spider I've seen here, and I want to kill it because I don't really like spiders. But, the thought occurs to me that it might be here because it has things to feed on. If that's the case, I would like it to continue. If there are bugs in my room, then I want the spider to eat them. If there aren't bugs, then the spider will leave or starve.
Besides, I can't reach it.
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