Yay for lazy Sunday afternoons! I have refused to change out of my church dress so far, because I love this dress. It is comfy, but now it is all wrinkled. I took a small Sunday afternoon nap, which was lovely! I have been slightly productive, but basically I am just taking it easy.
So on Friday, I went to a football game. We lost, but being that I'm not a total crazed fan of the sport, I can't say that I cared overly much. I enjoy the bands and the cheers more than the game itself.
On Saturday, I slept a lot. I actually woke up early to begin with, no alarm clock or anything! I was up at 7. But as I tried to fight my way through some homework assignments, I ended up falling asleep again. I then ventured to the other side of town to hang out with friends and watch a movie (I predicted everyone would die, and I was very very close.)
We have moved into our new Sunday school building at church. I like having a door to shut and real walls and not hearing everything all the surrounding classes happen to be saying. It still feels really new, though, and not much like home.
So I've taken notice recently that I contradict myself. I'm not actually sure what my stand is on certain things. For instance, I believe it is wrong to lie. And yet, I want to write off excuses for little white lies all the time. There are also certain instances when I want people to lie to me. An example: when I ask if my hair is frizzy, I don't want to be told that it is. I already know it is. I want to be assured that it isn't totally atrocious. There are also times where I will knowingly not tell the truth. I concealed an incredibly painful sunburn from my parents, knowing they would never let me go to the beach without adult supervision ever again. (I guess that's not true, because once I graduate and move out, there's really nothing they can do about it, so...) But anyway, I'm confusing myself. Because my morals are mostly Biblical, except for that. And a couple other things, I suppose. It's not that I think lying is okay. Lying is wrong. It's just convenient sometimes.
And then I was doing my Bible study yesterday (yay! I actually did it!) and the passage was on servant hood. Listen to this: "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." Matthew 5: 38-42.
It's not like I haven't read this passage before, but I guess it's been a while, and I think I've grown up a bit. I freely admit that this is hard for me to do. When my sister wants to borrow my clothes, I don't say, "Yeah, sure! And here, take my perfume too!" And if someone hits me, I usually hit back. Sometimes, I hit first.
Everyone is so afraid of being taken advantage of, and they say don't be a doormat, and don't let people walk all over you. Take charge. Stick up for yourself. And everybody likes this doctrine. We're comfortable with it. It's easy.
So anyway, point being, I've caught myself compromising my values and beliefs. This is bad. It's one thing to admit, yes, I lie and I am selfish, because I'm being honest and truthful and humble about my faults. It's another thing completely to say, yes, I lie and I am selfish and I don't care.
*sigh*
I should care.
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