My spider friend is on the ceiling again. Apparently, he hasn't starved yet. Only, he is positioned right above my bed which makes me very uncomfortable. So, instead of trying to sleep, I decided to blog.
So, funny story. This week, before my piano lesson, the professor had to step out for a moment. At which point, I remembered I had forgotten something I deemed vitally important in another part of the building, so I burst out of his office in search of this essential object. I wasn't gone long, and as I rounded the corner on my way back, I found my teacher standing outside his office with a confused expression on his face. He had been knocking on the door, which was closed and, I soon realized, locked.
I hadn't meant to shut the door behind me, but apparently I had. And my teacher had been wondering why I wasn't opening the door for him. I felt terribly guilty, but my professor wasn't too upset about it, so then I just felt a little guilty. And after the fact, amused.
Anyway, he eventually tracked down someone else who had a master key and could let him in. My lesson was only delayed by fifteen minutes or so. I decided I would wait inside the office while he returned the borrowed set of keys.
Well, I've finished writing everything I wished to tell you tonight, but my stubborn spider friend hasn't budged an inch. I think I'll sleep with the covers over my head tonight.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
The Overflow of the Heart
Right off the bat, we get a three day weekend. I'm going to be spoiled. What will I do when I actually have to work again?
So my first few days of school haven't been too bad. Granted, most of the real work hasn't started yet. So given the long weekend and the lack of assignments, I had some extra free time today! I went to the Student Act with some other piano majors and tried out the elliptical machines there!
Now, this was a grand adventure for multiple reasons. First of all, I have never been to the Student Act so I was exploring a little bit. Secondly, I have never used an elliptical machine before. It took me a while to warm up to it. And finally, I hardly ever volunteer to sweat. I hate sweating. You can just imagine how much I enjoyed this excursion.
In retrospect, I feel very accomplished and I'm glad I went.
Also, there is a spider on the ceiling of my dorm room. It's the first spider I've seen here, and I want to kill it because I don't really like spiders. But, the thought occurs to me that it might be here because it has things to feed on. If that's the case, I would like it to continue. If there are bugs in my room, then I want the spider to eat them. If there aren't bugs, then the spider will leave or starve.
Besides, I can't reach it.
So my first few days of school haven't been too bad. Granted, most of the real work hasn't started yet. So given the long weekend and the lack of assignments, I had some extra free time today! I went to the Student Act with some other piano majors and tried out the elliptical machines there!
Now, this was a grand adventure for multiple reasons. First of all, I have never been to the Student Act so I was exploring a little bit. Secondly, I have never used an elliptical machine before. It took me a while to warm up to it. And finally, I hardly ever volunteer to sweat. I hate sweating. You can just imagine how much I enjoyed this excursion.
In retrospect, I feel very accomplished and I'm glad I went.
Also, there is a spider on the ceiling of my dorm room. It's the first spider I've seen here, and I want to kill it because I don't really like spiders. But, the thought occurs to me that it might be here because it has things to feed on. If that's the case, I would like it to continue. If there are bugs in my room, then I want the spider to eat them. If there aren't bugs, then the spider will leave or starve.
Besides, I can't reach it.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Let it Snow (please!)
Guess where I am? Back in good ole Auburn, the home of this year's BCS CHAMPIONS!!! Just sayin'.
Can I tell you a secret? I didn't want to come back. I really didn't want to come back. Partly because coming back meant being responsible again. It meant hard work, early mornings, late nights. Partly because I got pretty homesick last semester, and I didn't want to have to deal with that again. There are many reasons why I feel like I should be home (my great-grandma, my little sisters, my parents, my dog...)
It was really hard to leave.
But now that I'm back, I remember how much I love it here. I love the new people that I've met. I'm still unsure how to define them (close friends? Friends? Buddies?), but maybe you don't have to define each and every relationship you have. Life isn't always so cut and dry, and words mean different things to different people.
Not only do I love the people here, but I love what I do! Volunteering with the international students, being in the music department. I feel much more purposeful here than back home.
So, that's that. It's also quite a bit chillier here than it was in Florida. Back home, I was wearing short-sleeved t-shirts a lot. Sunday night welcomed me back to Auburn with freezing rain. I don't think I've ever experienced freezing rain before, actually. It sounded like thousands of tiny beads were falling from the sky. The next morning, all of the trees were covered with ice. Luckily for me, most of the brick pathways were not frozen over, so I didn't slip and fall everywhere on my way to the piano practice rooms.
As cool as frozen trees are, snow is much cooler than ice, any day.
And here's another not-so-private secret: I've never seen it snow. I have never witnessed snow falling from the sky. I've seen a mountain sprayed with fake, man-made snow (I went skiing at a weird time in the season, before real snow had time to fall). But I have never seen the actual event occur.
I'm hoping that will change soon.
Can I tell you a secret? I didn't want to come back. I really didn't want to come back. Partly because coming back meant being responsible again. It meant hard work, early mornings, late nights. Partly because I got pretty homesick last semester, and I didn't want to have to deal with that again. There are many reasons why I feel like I should be home (my great-grandma, my little sisters, my parents, my dog...)
It was really hard to leave.
But now that I'm back, I remember how much I love it here. I love the new people that I've met. I'm still unsure how to define them (close friends? Friends? Buddies?), but maybe you don't have to define each and every relationship you have. Life isn't always so cut and dry, and words mean different things to different people.
Not only do I love the people here, but I love what I do! Volunteering with the international students, being in the music department. I feel much more purposeful here than back home.
So, that's that. It's also quite a bit chillier here than it was in Florida. Back home, I was wearing short-sleeved t-shirts a lot. Sunday night welcomed me back to Auburn with freezing rain. I don't think I've ever experienced freezing rain before, actually. It sounded like thousands of tiny beads were falling from the sky. The next morning, all of the trees were covered with ice. Luckily for me, most of the brick pathways were not frozen over, so I didn't slip and fall everywhere on my way to the piano practice rooms.
As cool as frozen trees are, snow is much cooler than ice, any day.
And here's another not-so-private secret: I've never seen it snow. I have never witnessed snow falling from the sky. I've seen a mountain sprayed with fake, man-made snow (I went skiing at a weird time in the season, before real snow had time to fall). But I have never seen the actual event occur.
I'm hoping that will change soon.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Here we go again...
Another year!
I am heading back to Auburn this weekend. I am not ready for the next semester. For one thing, I don't have my songs learned yet. My piano professor and I met last semester to discuss what pieces I would work on this year, and I was expected to have prepared them over the break. I had a month off. Well...
I did practice, but I mostly practiced the songs for a Christmas Eve service where I was part of a small ensemble. (That service went really well, by the way. I really enjoyed the rehearsals and the performance aspect of it, but not so much having to practice on my own, or getting the music for Friday on Monday. I need more time than that.) My family also traveled a good bit. We visited most of our extended family, which basically means we toured Florida. Now, within my family, our house is the only one with a piano, so it is impossible for me to practice while we visit family.
Still, I was home enough to learn the pieces better than I have.
It's raining right now. Really heavily, as though each rain drop is a bullet. I'm slouching on the couch blogging, my slippered feet propped up on the coffee table in front of me. My littlest sister is next to me, also on her laptop. We'll probably play The Sims 3 together later today. My mom is to my right, on her desktop replacement, which makes my little Toshiba look like a matchbox. Our dog, who is terrified of bad weather, is cowering on the couch between us.
I like having them near, so easily accessible.
Tomorrow, my sisters start school again. We'll all resume our responsibilities. The pace will pick up, and rainy days will still have to be productive in some way. Such is life. Starting tomorrow.
I am heading back to Auburn this weekend. I am not ready for the next semester. For one thing, I don't have my songs learned yet. My piano professor and I met last semester to discuss what pieces I would work on this year, and I was expected to have prepared them over the break. I had a month off. Well...
I did practice, but I mostly practiced the songs for a Christmas Eve service where I was part of a small ensemble. (That service went really well, by the way. I really enjoyed the rehearsals and the performance aspect of it, but not so much having to practice on my own, or getting the music for Friday on Monday. I need more time than that.) My family also traveled a good bit. We visited most of our extended family, which basically means we toured Florida. Now, within my family, our house is the only one with a piano, so it is impossible for me to practice while we visit family.
Still, I was home enough to learn the pieces better than I have.
It's raining right now. Really heavily, as though each rain drop is a bullet. I'm slouching on the couch blogging, my slippered feet propped up on the coffee table in front of me. My littlest sister is next to me, also on her laptop. We'll probably play The Sims 3 together later today. My mom is to my right, on her desktop replacement, which makes my little Toshiba look like a matchbox. Our dog, who is terrified of bad weather, is cowering on the couch between us.
I like having them near, so easily accessible.
Tomorrow, my sisters start school again. We'll all resume our responsibilities. The pace will pick up, and rainy days will still have to be productive in some way. Such is life. Starting tomorrow.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I'll be home for Christmas
So, I AM home for Christmas, and it's very good to be back.
I think, over all, this semester was a success. So, what have I learned so far?
I do not like having classes after four in the afternoon. I do not like having classes back to back when they are located across campus from each other. Lunches with friends are fun, but they take more time. Studying in my dorm room allows for many distractions. Studying in the Student Center leads to buying food I don't need. Studying in the library always ends early. Make time for God, for friends, and for morning coffee. Call home often, just to chat. Make to-do lists, but be flexible.
And never, for one second, think you've got it under control, because that's exactly when everything falls apart.
I made it out alive. Actually, relatively unscathed. Classes haven't gone straight over my head yet, and time management hasn't failed. So, that's that. I'm one/eighth of the way there.
I think, over all, this semester was a success. So, what have I learned so far?
I do not like having classes after four in the afternoon. I do not like having classes back to back when they are located across campus from each other. Lunches with friends are fun, but they take more time. Studying in my dorm room allows for many distractions. Studying in the Student Center leads to buying food I don't need. Studying in the library always ends early. Make time for God, for friends, and for morning coffee. Call home often, just to chat. Make to-do lists, but be flexible.
And never, for one second, think you've got it under control, because that's exactly when everything falls apart.
I made it out alive. Actually, relatively unscathed. Classes haven't gone straight over my head yet, and time management hasn't failed. So, that's that. I'm one/eighth of the way there.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Shifting Paradigms
Just as I'm getting used to everything ... it's over.
This is finals week. I've found myself with an abundance of free time, a long to-do list, and a short attention span. Our piano juries were on Monday, and I still haven't gotten feedback from it. I took my first final last night: Spanish. I think I did okay, but I remembered this morning that I forgot to add in some stuff on my essay. Oh well.
At my core, I feel the same. But I also sense that I've changed a lot this semester.
What defines a friend? How often do you see them? How much do you actually know about them? Is time a factor at all, or can friends be instant?
And best friends. How do you define those? Are best friends relative to the other friends you have? Or is there just some special factor about a person that grants them such a status, regardless of how long you've known them or how much time you spend together?
Some days, I feel like an actress in a play. The people around me are only surface-level characters. We speak our scripted lines, and take our cues. We act as friends, because that is what we're supposed to do. Every now and then, someone slips up and says something out of character. That's when I remember that I do not really know these people. I only know their characters. That's when I suddenly remember the stage, the costumes and masks.
But we smooth it over, and continue. The play must go on.
On a less symbolic and more literal level, Auburn won the SEC championship! I watched the game in the Auburn Arena with a few other freshman girls. [Friends? Potential best friends?]
This is finals week. I've found myself with an abundance of free time, a long to-do list, and a short attention span. Our piano juries were on Monday, and I still haven't gotten feedback from it. I took my first final last night: Spanish. I think I did okay, but I remembered this morning that I forgot to add in some stuff on my essay. Oh well.
At my core, I feel the same. But I also sense that I've changed a lot this semester.
What defines a friend? How often do you see them? How much do you actually know about them? Is time a factor at all, or can friends be instant?
And best friends. How do you define those? Are best friends relative to the other friends you have? Or is there just some special factor about a person that grants them such a status, regardless of how long you've known them or how much time you spend together?
Some days, I feel like an actress in a play. The people around me are only surface-level characters. We speak our scripted lines, and take our cues. We act as friends, because that is what we're supposed to do. Every now and then, someone slips up and says something out of character. That's when I remember that I do not really know these people. I only know their characters. That's when I suddenly remember the stage, the costumes and masks.
But we smooth it over, and continue. The play must go on.
On a less symbolic and more literal level, Auburn won the SEC championship! I watched the game in the Auburn Arena with a few other freshman girls. [Friends? Potential best friends?]
Monday, November 29, 2010
Turkey and Dressing
So, this past week was Thanksgiving Break. I had over a week off from school, and it was amazing to be back home. I saw all of my friends and family in the span of five days during my time off. At times, it did feel mildly rushed, but there is the promise of Christmas break right around the corner, when I will hopefully be seeing all these wonderfully familiar faces again.
So, confession: I did not spend much time being thankful or reflective over Thanksgiving. Instead, I spent much more time living moment by moment, and sometimes being quite selfish.
Speaking of confessions, I've been trying very hard this semester to be honest. Over time, I have discovered that I value the truth a lot more than I thought I did. I still don't like to hear it sometimes, and I still tried to hide from it often, but I do not want to be surrounded by dishonest people. There is so much value in sincerity. So, accordingly, I have been attempting to be more honest in my representation of myself. It's easy to put a spin on my words or actions, to cover faults and extol pretend virtues. But I don't want to do that anymore. You cannot claim to be loved if you are not known.
That said, I think you should know:
I am not always honest. I fight with a very compelling desire to be seen as an angel, and it is very difficult for me to confront faults or failures. (So be warned, if you address me about this topic in person, I will most likely become very defensive). I am also hypocritical. Arrogant people irritate me, yet I know that I am prideful. Ironically, I dislike hypocrites. I am fully capable of thinking and saying cruel, judgmental things. I am not innocent or anywhere near perfect. I keep secrets, I spill secrets, I envy, I ignore. I fail.
I'm not anything like an angel. I'm just human.
So, confession: I did not spend much time being thankful or reflective over Thanksgiving. Instead, I spent much more time living moment by moment, and sometimes being quite selfish.
Speaking of confessions, I've been trying very hard this semester to be honest. Over time, I have discovered that I value the truth a lot more than I thought I did. I still don't like to hear it sometimes, and I still tried to hide from it often, but I do not want to be surrounded by dishonest people. There is so much value in sincerity. So, accordingly, I have been attempting to be more honest in my representation of myself. It's easy to put a spin on my words or actions, to cover faults and extol pretend virtues. But I don't want to do that anymore. You cannot claim to be loved if you are not known.
That said, I think you should know:
I am not always honest. I fight with a very compelling desire to be seen as an angel, and it is very difficult for me to confront faults or failures. (So be warned, if you address me about this topic in person, I will most likely become very defensive). I am also hypocritical. Arrogant people irritate me, yet I know that I am prideful. Ironically, I dislike hypocrites. I am fully capable of thinking and saying cruel, judgmental things. I am not innocent or anywhere near perfect. I keep secrets, I spill secrets, I envy, I ignore. I fail.
I'm not anything like an angel. I'm just human.
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